The Dragon King of Hogwarts
by Clayton Overstreet
Summary: Who doesn't daydream about what they would do if they were a wizard?


I don't own these characters or profit from them.

I merely have had an idea of what I would do at Hogwarts and need to get it out of my head so I can get back to writing my actual books like "Harlequin: A Fool's World novel" now available from Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Yes it's a self insertion fic.

Please feel free to buy and review any of my books, or read and REVIEW my fan fictions including this story and my others.

The Dragon King of Hogwarts

By, Clayton Overstreet

What a person is able to accomplish depends on three things: what you have to work with, what you are willing to do, and what you can imagine doing.

I suppose I could start at the beginning. All the things I did. That however would get repetitive fast. Not to mention complicated and in a lot of cases boring. My experiments. The hours and even years of research. So instead I will start at the part where I finally got found out.

I had been a Hogwarts for… well I was officially in my first sixth year. I'll explain that cryptic statement in a bit. Let me explain how an American ended up in a British wizard school. My mom was a party girl muggle when she was young. She met and married her second husband in her early twenties, a bartender. They broke up before I was one and by the time I was three she was married and divorced from my younger sister's father. In my life I've met my actual father maybe half a dozen times. In the meantime a few weird things happened. There was the time I saw a spider crawling across the ceiling of our trailer and imagined it bursting into flames. The scorch mark is still there. The times I woke up lying flat and fell back onto the bed. The dreams of the future that come true. The times I played Bloody Mary and saw something in the mirror…

Anyway I got the owl and it turned out that my dad, while not exactly rich, had arranged for me to go to a decent school for magic. America has its own as do many other countries, and one day I plan to visit as many of the schools as possible to see what they have to learn, but for a start Hogwarts is a pretty good place to start. I'm sure you have heard of it and know how the place is set up. If you do not, I'm not going into it. I am just glad my mother did not know much about it or she would have probably yanked me out in my first year. It was only eight years since the Harry Potter incident when I started and I seriously doubt the stories of how they had to haul bodies of both good and evil wizards, not to mention students, from the school. Or that thanks to that psycho werewolf Grayback (I'm not sure on the spelling…the teachers do not like to mention the details to students and frankly I refuse to abandon American spelling to throw around extra letters like U into all the words) there is a new specially built building near the words specifically for all of the werewolf student survivors of that night and any others. Hogwarts was actually pretty popular with werewolves thanks to those kids and Professor Lupin and his bravery. Wizards were finally getting over their prejudice about the accursed.

Again I doubt my mother would have liked to know that I was at school with people who transformed into disfigured wolf men who wanted nothing else but to sink their fangs into every other human. Then again if I was yanked out of school then both they and their families would have been very put out. That I'll save for later too. After all, what is the point of an interrogation if I've already told you everything right now?

So as I said now that you have a bit of background on me, I was found out one day while sitting in my sixth year potions class. Professor Slughorn had retired the year before and our new teacher was Missus Eros, a rather attractive witch just entering idle age whose day job included professionally brewing love potions, magical makeup, and wines. She was rich, beautiful, and more than competent. I was learning a lot from her already.

The problem was she was also vain and liked her students rapt with attention n her every word. Everyone in the class watched her every move, boys and girls, impressed with her beauty and genius both and maybe a little under some spell that encouraged crushes Every day she came in her desk was piled with apples, candies, and small gifts from students and teachers. I personally was getting top marks in her classes, but as focused as I was on learning from her, I neglected to play along. I only had one or two more years to go, depending on how you looked at it, and was mostly immune to the woman's charms, both physical and magical not least because I knew she had no intention of ever actually being with a student and just liked to tease. I was not unaware of her attractiveness, but for me it was like visiting a museum and admiring a painting or treasure behind a glass case that I knew I would never own and thus saw no reason to stare at it for hours and drool. A quick look, a little information, learning what I can from it, and then move on. That was how I viewed her.

I had not realized that my indifference was a small but persistent annoyance to the woman who probably had body issues. I have since seen pictures of her in her old yearbooks. She made Delores Umbridge, the frog-like little woman who had been fired for collaboration with the Death Eaters and now ran a hate group of people against muggles and mud bloods in Scotland who constantly send out unread petitions that made Nazis look reasonable, look like a beauty queen.

Missus Eros was not a bad person and if anyone can understand reinventing yourself from the bones out it is me. But by not paying attention to her in anything but an academic way, I made her feel like her old ugly self. So for months she had been picking me to ask the most difficult questions. The fact that I easily answered her questions with no effort, even when she did advanced things that most teachers would have been clueless about, thus denying her even the petty attempts at garnering attention she was willing to settle for, only made her dislike me more.

The end came one day when she walked between the tables examining our potions. It was a kind that made the person who took it look outside to others like they always imagined they did on the inside to themselves. Mine of course was the perfect cotton candy blue it was supposed to be. Next to me one of the Longbottom sextuplets, possibly Lucinda or Bellatrix (named so by her mother in the hopes that in the future the last owner of that name would be forgotten)… aside from Lana I never really could tell them apart… and both were in my class, even though hey were only third years… was staring at a pot of pink sludge. She had failed to gather the cattail reeds at the proper time I could tell. The Longbottom girls were all geniuses, but tended to be easily distracted. I was about to offer her some help when Missus Eros' purring voice snapped, "Pay attention Mr. Overstreet."

"I am ma'am," I said.

"I've been watching. Your eyes haven't moved from the back of Miss Goodmountain's head since class started. I know you're quite good, but I do occasionally like to see my students checking my instructions."

I could have just apologized and let the whole thing drop, but I did not appreciate Eros drawing another student into reprimanding me. True, it did often look like I was staring at the student in front of me instead of the board, but that was only a matter of perspective. Looking at her for real I saw Elsa Goodmountain blushing red and getting nudged by the girl next to her. She was cute enough, but not a girl I had taken particular interest in.

"She's pretty Missus Eros, but I was not staring at her."

"I saw you Mr. Overstreet."

I did not like the smug tone. Besides, after I finished my sixth years, I only had the seventh two to get through. I figured it was time to let the real me hang out. Smirking I said, "While I appreciate the attention, I'm afraid you're mistaken. I can't blame you. The illusion I use to conceal myself is several feet shorter than I really am, so I'm sure it looks like I'm staring at Miss Goodmountain, but believe me I am paying attention."

She walked over to my table and frowned down at what she thought was me. ""what do you mean by that? Stop staring down at the table and look at me."

"I am looking at you," I said, still smiling to myself.

She was about to say something again when my actual words finally seemed to click in her head. I shifted my weight and the ancient oak bench creaked under me, as if supporting a massive weight. Weight much greater than could be exerted by a teenage boy on wood so old it was nearly petrified and could probably have been used to batter through one of the solid stone walls of the dungeon we occupied. Slowly she drew her eyes up from the boy she thought she saw to the thin air above his head.

"Little more… a little higher… there you go," I said until she was looking at an apparent empty spot of air a foot or so above her own head.

Missus Eros slowly raised a hand and reached out. I could not contain a slight laugh at the look on her face as her hesitant hand came in contact with my chest and she jerked back, having stubbed her fingers against me and cracked one of her nails. When she touched me a second time and placed her hand on my chest she felt it rise and fall, the almost hot scales, and the cheer size of it. Her face paled until she looked like a ghost as her hand rose and felt my face like a blind person. She barely touched my snout when she jerked back again, having sliced the side of her finger on one of my fangs. Everyone could see the blood.

"What…?" Was as far as she got before she fainted.

000

In headmistress McGonagall's office I stood in front of her desk, hands behind my back, still smiling. She motioned to the chair in front of me. "Please, have a seat."

"I'd rather not professor," I said. "That chair is far too small for me."

She raised an eyebrow. I was a big kid, even in just my illusionary form. At thirteen I wore a size thirteen and when I had developed my illusions to hide what I had done for myself I had used age spells to temporarily grow up so I could adjust them as needed. As an adult human I was over six feet tall and wore size sixteen extra wide shoes. Even still at full grown I should have been able to fit in the seat with ease. Instead I nodded to another chair in the corner; a monstrous thing I suspected was there especially for when the groundskeeper Hagrid, his wife, or other equally large visitors came by. She nodded and flicked her wand. The chair that was in front of me moved aside and the big one slid into place. I took a seat, adjusting a few things she had no way of seeing, and noticed the look on her face as the heavily reinforced chair groaned under my weight even though the version of me she could see looked like a dwarf among the cushion.

"Miss Eros seems to think you may have been hiding something you've accidentally done to yourself, Mr. Overstreet," she said.

"I'm afraid she's wrong."

"Oh?"

"Well I suppose I could have accidentally spent three years and hundreds of gold coins developing the spell I used, accidentally mixed the ingredients to perfect proportions, and then accidentally drunk it."

"So you're saying that whatever you've done, it wasn't an accident."

"Could be."

"And what exactly have you done to yourself? From what I can tell you've used a fairly complex illusion to conceal it." I hesitated. "Well?"

"Sorry but, missus Eros fainted just from slight contact. You are, not to put too fine a point on it, are a bit older. I'm kind of afraid that if I just show you what I really look like, you'll have a heart attack. I happen to think I look great, but to some I… well I'm afraid that my appearance would be quite terrifying." I saw her getting ready to tell me that she would be fine and interrupted. "I know you've death with Death Eaters and met Professor Hagrid's brother Grawp. You've seen ogres and giant three headed dogs and devil's snare. You've seen Voldemort's snake and werewolves. Even a dementor or two in your time among other monsters. All the same seeing me shorn of all illusion, would be a bit much for even the bravest of men."

She almost looked argumentative, but hesitated. "What exactly have you done to yourself?"

"Frankly ma'am, I'm hesitant to actually reveal the details. Not only do I rather enjoy the idea of leaving it a mystery, but I don't believe that it's actually against school rules to turn myself into just about anything I wish. I know it's discouraged, but I don't believe anyone's tried to do half the things I've done which may be disapproved of, so there are no actual rules forbidding it."

"It sounds like whatever you're alluding to may involve more than just whatever you're currently concealing." I just smiled. "Well young man, as you are a minor in our custody for the school year the staff and I must at least be aware of your physical condition."

I considered letting her know that I was actually older than I looked and a legal adult, physically and mentally, regardless of what my birth certificate might say, but decided not to bring it up. Showing off my true form was one thing. The other things I had been up to were probably best left not bothering the staff with. So I decided to go through with it. "If you insist." I reached up and pulled off the large cloak I wore while I stood to my full height. By then many of the portraits around the office of former headmasters were occupied. Many of them, via my own collection of paintings, had seen me as I really am before. I did not have one nasty looking fellow who looked a bit too stern and serious and who, it turns out, screamed like a girl.

McGonagall was actually quite impressive, even though her breath caught and I could hear her heart skip a beat. I was so impressed with how her face barely changed as she looked up at me that I did not mention the odor of urine or the sound of it tricking from under her desk. It took her two tries to swallow and her voice shook a bit as she said, "I-I see…" She gulped again and opened a desk drawer. She sipped something out of a flask and then put it back. "What exactly did you do to cause this?"

"I'm not telling," I said. "

"You're not?"

"No, for three reasons. First off as I said, I don't have to. Second I am not going to risk letting you or anyone else recreate the complicated and frankly expensive process that I personally invented and perfected to cause this. And this I don't want anyone figuring out how to undo the process."

She shook her head, slightly dazed. "I don't understand… why?"

I sighed. "I assume you're going to have me take a full physical?" She pressed her lips together and nodded. "Fine, then I'll explain after that. You look like you could use a bit of a rest in the meantime headmistress. How about I discuss this with you in the nurse's office after you've had time to… I sniffed. "Freshen up."

She was torn between her curiosity and horror and embarrassment. Being British, decorum won. "Yes I will speak to you after. Hold on one moment while I let her know you are coming." I smiled and the sight of that almost did give her a heat attack.

000

I suppose I should tell you what I really look like these days. I got a good long look at myself in the mirrors in the nurse's office. Plenty of other students and teachers did to. I left my cloak in the office and walked through the halls fully visible. Classes had not let out yet, but there were a few people, ghosts, and portraits in the halls that saw me casually walking by. Some were horrified, others impressed, and some more were just interested. None of those who saw me recognized me. Only a handful of students ever saw me without my illusion and most of those were in class or had graduated already. I rather enjoyed the expressions on their faces as I casually meandered down the hallways to he nurse's office.

As the nurse, who almost swallowed her tongue when she first saw me, examined my body I took the time to really look at myself. I stand about nine feet tall and my skin was actually shining golden scales not unlike those of a crocodile only much harder. I can shrug off anti-tank weapons. My build reminds most of a professional wrestler or weight lifter… or possibly the Hulk. Muscles bulge everywhere. I'm mostly humanoid, though my shoulders hunch up to make room for my massive wings and the row of spines jutting from my back down to my long prehensile tail that ends with a tuft. My hair, silvery white that sparkles like an icy waterfall, is more of a mane, flowing from under my horns down between the wings and to my hips.

My toes and fingers end in black talons than can tear through a car like a knife through cardboard. My face if a snout full of fangs. Two golden horns, like twisted unicorn horns, start just above my eyebrows and just backwards over my skull. My eyes are large orbs with eyelids and look like those of an eagle with large olden irises surrounding deep black pupils. Only a small thin ring of white can be seen at the very edges if I open them really wide under the thick boney brow. The only clothes I wear besides my illusion cloak are a loincloth and a large codpiece, for decency and because I know stories about dragons having a weak point in the underbelly and in my case I really don't want anyone shooting me THERE with an arrow.

Yeah, I'm a dragon. Of sorts. I look more like the result of a crossbreeding between a dragon and a captured princess. Or maybe a demon. If you look online you will find dozens of similar creatures in art, cartoons, and other media. I always did like dragons. How did I get this way? Again, I intend to tell you, but you'll have to wait until later.

I spent several hours being poked and prodded. Spells were cast to examine me down to levels muggle science could not even understand. Calls were made to St. Mungo's. Someone was kind enough to get me a book. I was just watched by many students and teachers who found reasons to swing by for a look. I noticed that when they saw me many reached for their wands. If I were really dangerous it would have done them no good, but I saw no reason to make them more nervous by letting them know that.

McGonagall arrived in a fresh dress and took the nurse off to what she thought was out of ear shot. My senses are incredibly superior to an ordinary human, but again this is not something I have ever felt the need to share.

"So what has he done to himself?"

"He's made himself into a monster," Madam Hardcastle told her.

"I know that, but exactly what has he done?"

"To tell the truth headmistress, I can't be sure. I mean it's fairly obvious that he's merged his form with a dragon. I've never seen anything like this. I looked through the records and called up the hospital. The closest they have is the side effects of an improperly prepared polyjuice potion made with animal parts instead of human. He refused to let me try to draw blood, collect urine, or provide any other fluids."

McGonagall frowned. "That's odd. I was looking through his records. His grades are exemplary. I did not read it, but I believe in his first year he wrote a paper on the side effects of badly made polyjuice potions. He even came in here to speak to the nurse about Miss Hermione Granger. That's what caught my eye, seeing her name on the page. I remember when she was in here after turning herself into some sort of cat creature. It does seem similar."

"Similar, true, but not exactly. For one thing Miss Granger was lucky she was turned into a mammal. Normally the mixing of other species would cause the body to reject altered organs. Even muggle medicine cannot just put an alligator heart into a human body. Since he's part dragon a lot of my examination spells were ineffective, but from what I could see he's remarkably healthy and the merger has gone off without any deviation. If I didn't know any better I'd think he was born that way. Like how Hagrid is half-giant or a centaur. I don't know much about nonhumans, let alone hybrids."

"Could you cure him?"

"It is hard to say. Like I said he's not exactly unhealthy. If you mean could I turn him human again, I can't say. The longer something like this is in place the harder it is to undo. The body replaces its old cells roughly every seven years and it almost seems like he's been like this much longer than that… even though that seems impossible since he claims he did this when he was in his second year."

McGonagall looked surprised. "He did? That's impressive for such an advanced spell. Also it seems kind of young to want to simply… throw away his humanity."

"To even begin to figure this out I would need some of his original body… hair… teeth… fingernails. Something to work with. Even then… it would be uphill. If he had used a normal animal it would be hard enough, but dragons are inherently magical and immune to a lot of spells."

"Well then let us ask him," McGonagall said. They walked back over to where I was reading and pretending not to listen to them. "Mr. Overstreet, do you by any chance have any of your hair or a baby tooth?"

I looked up at them. "Professor, I thought I made it clear that I have no intention of allowing myself to be turned back."

"Well should we need to," she said, looking a bit angry. "Nobody knows what you have done to yourself. The long term effects…"

I smirked. "I can guarantee you I will be perfectly healthy later. But I see your point. There's just one problem." I grinned and they both took a step back from the examination table. "You see shortly after I did this we had an accident. Our trailer was struck by lightning fourteen times and burned down. Everything we had, up in smoke. Don't worry, insurance covered it and I've earned a bit of money on the side. Also all my records and samples from the hospital mysteriously disappeared. I haven't been there since, for obvious reasons, and assured my mother that wizards have their own system. I haven't needed a hair cut since and you know I cast this neat cleaning spell on my room here at Hogwarts that vanished all the dead skin cells, fingernails, saliva residue, and everything from all my clothes, blankets, and even the air in my room. Not even magic can find a trace of my original DNA anywhere. Believe me, I've check."

McGonagall's face turned a bit red. Finally she burst out, "This is ridiculous. Why on Earth would you do this to yourself? It's madness!"

I sat back, my spines sinking into the stone wall behind me as I got comfortable. "Well I had several reasons. The first being that I have always loved dragons and other monsters, growing up I read about werewolves… well shape shifters not to monsters real werewolves are… and wished I could be one. Actually I was only eight when I read about that and grew in a unibrow almost immediately after. Then I read about vampires… who could also turn into wolves, plus other things, mist, and were immortal and could hypnotize. Later it was dragons… and then I found out I was a wizard." I saw her frown.

"After that I of course began studying monsters for real. Muggles have books of myths but wizards have actual encyclopedias. To think that there are other intelligent magical creatures out there among the true monsters and more. I studied all of it and combined with my magic lessons… well what's so great about being human?"

"You must be joking."

"Not at all. I'm sure it's fine for some people, but acting like being born a certain way makes you somehow better than a clearly superior species…" I snorted, a flash of fire coming out of my nose and making them jump. "I did not hate myself or anything. I merely see this as making myself the best I could be. Had I not been able to pull this off I had a series of backup plans, including several ways to turn myself back. Since it did work I carefully made certain that those ways were carefully closed. There are a few things I could still do to reverse the transformation, but since I have no intention of doing so anytime soon, I think we can leave it at that."

Hardcastle asked before McGonagall could speak again, "What makes your current form better than being human? You're hideous."

"That is a matter of opinion. I have had several girlfriends who have found my new look quite attractive." I saw her look of horror. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder miss and it's not like some people have never dated outside their species. Vila for example are quite popular and if you were a muggle I'd suggest a few websites…" I decided to stop teasing the two women. "Aside from that, what do you two know about dragons? Specifically the celestial gold dragons of Asia?"

They looked at one another. McGonagall finally said, "Not much, though I could look it up in the library…"

"Let me save you time. Celestial dragons, of varying colors, are among the most intelligent creatures to ever live and have rightfully been worshipped as gods due to this and their fantastic magical abilities. They are virtually immortal… possibly literally. Nobody human had really lived long enough to stay but there have been records of individual dragons appearing millennia apart. One as much as ten thousand years. I've never been one to fear death, but at the same time I'm not saying no to a potentially limitless lifespan.

"I haven't mastered them all, I am young by human standards let alone dragon, but aside from their prodigious intellect and memory, which I think you'll agree my grades will show I've got they can also breathe fire, control the weather, breathe under water, travel through dimensions, fly even without wings, speak the language of birds, and possibly many others some of which I could be completely unaware of. I'm still finding the limits of my mere physical abilities. I'm stronger than thirty men, faster than you would think; my senses are exemplary, and did you know that this particular kind of dragon has a gland that secretes a substance similar to s luck potion? I'm immune to a lot of poisons and can eat just about anything I want. My claws allow me to practically walk up sheer walls and I can fly with these wings. It also has increased my magical abilities to the point where I do not need a wand and can easily cast spells without words." I flicked a claw and a nearby chair rose into the air and then settled again. "This particular species of dragon is not just as smart as a human, but is thought to be three times as smart as a dolphin. I lack the knowledge of centuries, but I'm learning everything Hogwarts has to teach me and more. I've made a few other changes to myself to… little tweaks here and there… but that is the gist of it."

They stared at me. McGonagall found her voice first. "But your appearance…"

"I'm sorry, should we go ask Hagrid about this? Or the half-Vila kids? Some of the werewolf students perhaps? We could pop over to that lovely centaur in the divination class or the mermaids out by the lake…"

"Alright, fine, enough about your… appearance. Anything else you've been keeping from us?"

"Tons. None of which I intend to tell you about. And as I have a degree in wizard law, I know that I do not have to unless you can get official ministry Aurors or other officials in here to do an official investigation. In the meantime I'd like to get back to class. I left my school supplies in potions and we're doing some amazing things in Herbology and I'd hate to miss it." Without waiting for an answer I stood up, grinning nastily as they stepped back from me in animal fear, and headed for the door.

McGonagall called out, "Don't forget to retrieve your illusionary cloak from my office."

I shot her a grin over my shoulder. "What for?"

000

I had two months of being myself. Being from Ravenclaw I was more of interest to my fellow students in my own house than a source of fear. Dozens wondered what I had done to myself and how. They were gently rebuffed. As were the heads of various sports teams who wanted me to join. I felt it would be cheating since I could beat every team by myself. Besides I had no intention of sharing my secrets.

Both the Gryffindor and Slytherin houses had found mutual hatred for me. Slytherins because for all the Death Eaters had been weeded out, being a pureblood wizard still meant something to most of them and not only was I now a mud blood, but a monster. The Gryffindors did not like that I had thrown away my humanity all together to become a monster. They have that hero mentality and a lot of them feel that there is some inherent nobility in being a naked ape. I'm sure there is but that's on them, not me. I stopped their insults and occasional pranks easily enough. Someone tried to blast me with a curse and all I had to do was raise one clawed hand and it bounced off my scales to return to the caster, hitting him with the bat bogey curse he had meant for me.

After that I just needed to let slip a few juicy secrets. As I told McGonagall I could speak the language of birds. It was like how some wizards could talk to snakes. You would be amazed at the things students tell their owls. Personally I used a fruit bat to carry my messages. When I saw him in the pet store at Diagon Alley I just could not pass up getting Bitshat instead of the owls. I never was one to follow the usual line. Anyway after I spilled a few embarrassing secrets and everyone was accusing me of everything from necromancy to demonology in finding them out harassment quickly stopped. Mostly the Hufflepuff kids just stayed out of my way.

A few though had become my fan club. I got numerous requests from all of the houses to help tutor some kids. I said yes to the ones who offered money. In class my teachers quickly got to ignoring me, like I was a kid just out for attention and if they ignored it and the students followed suit. It helped that I acted as I always had and did nothing else to really draw attention. Pretty soon, aside from the occasional odd look, things were back to normal. I had a few close friends, but they were already well aware of what I really looked like and had secrets of their own, so nothing really changed there. A few wanted to reveal their unique selves including the things I had helped them achieve, but I warned them to wait because I knew what was coming and I needed to make certain that the officials were off my back before they risked themselves.

It did not take long. Less than three months after my disguise was discovered three officials from the Ministry of Magic were knocking at my door.

000

I knew they were coming. I had even taunted McGonagall about sending them and despite their subtlety I knew I had been under investigation since about two days after my physical. Even if my own contacts at the ministry had not immediately informed me I had spells set up that even the most paranoid aurors and dark wizards would have called overkill. Things most people had never heard of and a few I invented myself. I was actually surprised at how long they waited to contact me in person, but months of frustration must have made them try harder before giving in. I suspect the tipping point was when Rita Skeeter did her newest headline "Hogwarts: School of magic or Monsters?" She always went for Hogwarts whenever she could and had for years, having even attacked Hagrid's teaching position years before during the Triwizard Tournament. I tended to take it with stride but some people took her seriously.

I was surprised by whom they sent. Hermione Granger-Weasley, who was head of the Misuse of Magic office and two young aurors, Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley. I knew who they were of course. They had whole chapters in Magical history class. Hermione was said to be on the fast track to be Minister one day. They were all heroes. Not only were they all heroes from a war fought on the grounds of the school a few years ago, followed by a gaggle of staring students, but were in the news often enough even today busting bad guys. They had probably been requested by McGonagall personally since she knew them. I had been informed via mail that someone wanted to talk to me and I knew about what about. I just had not expected them to try to throw me by sending celebrities.

They actually interrupted my divination class. I did not mind. We were just meditating and while I'm good with astrology, augury, reading omens, and even tarot cards, my own ability to see the future is limited. Dreams that come true. There is never anything specific like a calendar and winning lottery tickets. It may have once stopped me from losing an eye on a barbed wire fence, but how do you prove something that never happened? My friend Hannah Starlight (her real name was Gertrude Grump, but she never used it) was much better and had even spouted a few prophesies from an early age. Nothing big, at least not that had happened yet, but she came from a long line of oracles and people had a lot of hope for her future. I'd beaten them to that, but no need to spill secrets.

When I saw the famous faces at the doorway I did not even wait for the teacher to come get me. I stood up, walking remarkably quietly for someone with claws if I say so myself. Hermione was staring at me with open wonder and a bit of chagrin, probably remembering her own transformation. Her husband looked angry and I could smell the fear on him as his knuckles went white as he gripped his wand. Harry potter was mostly calm… as one would expect from someone who had befriended Hagrid before he even started school. The teacher of magical beast classes had become one of my biggest fans, his love for all things related to dragons probably having something to do with that. We had talked about magical beasts before, but since my coming out I had been a regular guest and we had discussed all kinds of monsters, which led to stories about Harry Potter who had faced ogres, dark lords, evil snakes, dementors, werewolves, giant spiders, giant dogs, devil's snare, a sphinx, mermaids, water demons, giants, blast ended scroots, thestrals, dragons, and more. Not just in Hagrid's class.

In the hall I quietly led them downstairs so as not to interrupt the other students and then asked, "Can I help you?"

"We've heard that you've been involved with illicit research and experiments," Hermione said.

I crossed my scaled arms. "What proof do you have?" They all just stared at me and I grinned. "Okay, so maybe. I haven't done anything illegal."

"Have you done anything that should be illegal?" She asked.

I grinned wider. I saw Ron getting angrier because it scared him. "Clever girl. Yes, I'm certain that one or two things I am involved with would be frowned upon if anyone knew about them."

"Show us."

"Do you have a warrant?"

Potter held up a piece of paper. I took it and read through it. Then I nodded and handed it back. "Good, everything seems to be on order. You know I was going to wait until next year before I got you all involved, but I got impatient. It's been eleven years since I started this whole thing after all."

"Eleven?" Ron (I couldn't think of that short freckled face who reminded me of Sam from Lord of the Rings as Mr. Weasley) said. "You're only in your sixth year and you were muggle raised until you were eleven."

"Ah, there in lies the tale. Follow me and I will reveal all." Hermione and Harry shared a look, not liking my easy acceptance.

We got to the Ravenclaw tower, the statue at the door asked, "What is the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?"

I looked at the others. Harry Potter shrugged while Hermione looked thoughtful. Ron just said, "I don't know."

I replied, "So you're the one."

She smiled and behind me the three authority figures stifled some laughter, even the chagrined Weasley. "Witty response accepted." The door opened and we went up.

"You are certain you understand all of your rights?" Harry Potter asked me.

I smirked. "I should. I successfully became a legal barrister in my fourth year. With honors. I've received seven offers from some high powered wizard law firms." Everyone was in class and we'd left the students following them behind when we came into the dorms, so the walk up to my room was quiet.

"I'd forgotten how many stairs this place has," Ron muttered. "I prefer elevators.  
"You're getting flabby," Harry teased. "Pretty soon your wife is going to be looking for a younger man."

Hermione said, "There is that new guy in the education department…" Ron huffed and picked up the pace making the other two laugh.

We got to my room and they looked around. It was pretty empty and sparse. I didn't even have a bed or a roommate. I'd claimed the smallest room for myself when I love in. I'd ditched the bed as soon as I shed my human body. There's a reason dragons sleep on piles of gold. Sheets get shredded, burnt, and otherwise damaged. The three of them stared at the pile of coins in one corner.

"Holy… it looks like a vault at Gringotts."

"Please keep it quiet. I have a lot of spells to keep people from prying in here, but if they know I keep this much petty cast around…"

He stared at me. "You call this petty cash?"

"Well I do have seventeen vaults of my own at Gringotts as well as various other accounts in banks, both wizard and muggle, around the world. This is what I keep to sleep on. Don't you have a brother who works with dragons? Not to mention your family is quite well off. I'd think you'd understand."

"Course I do," he said. "I was just surprised."

"Wouldn't it have been easier to stay human and sleep in a bed?" Hermione asked.

"No," I said. "Just because you let them turn you back is no reason to suggest that I have to do something so silly myself."

"I respect non-humans," Hermione said.

I smirked. "So would you suggest that a goblin or house elf would be better off if they turned themselves into humans?"

"No!" She said.

"And if you did they'd be very insulted, wouldn't they?"

"What does that have to do with you mate?" Ron asked. "You were human."

"Didn't want to be," I said. "Don't you have some half-Vila relatives? They're part human. Which side should they choose?"

"Neither, they are who they are," he said.

"And I am what I am and that's all what I am," I said, whistling two times through my nose sounding like a train. "Deal with that rather than what I might have been for a handful of years."

"Non-humans don't always get as many rights as wizards," Harry pointed out.

"They also aren't as restricted in certain areas. Like eating people. Don't you think we'd best see what you came here to investigate before we start deciding what rights I may or may not have based on my birth certificate?"

"He's right," Hermione said. She looked around. "So should we just start searching?"

"No need. Follow me." I walked over to my closet. I picked up a clipboard and read over it. Then I lifted the previously invisible medallion from my neck. It was a series of circles with odd writing on them. There were three gems. One was glowing dimply and two were fairly bright.

"What are you doing?" Ron asked me.

"Checking my sign in sheet to make sure I'm not already inside."

Hermione got it first. "You have a time turner?"

I held up the medallion for her to see. "No, I have a time _tuner_ , my own invention. Far more accurate and versatile. Also harder to break."

"But that's amazing," she said. She reached for it and I dropped it, letting it vanish again. "Hey!"

"Sorry, but a lot of my more dangerous inventions are designed to self destruct if anyone but me tries to use them."

"Why?"

"Are you kidding? I don't want people messing around with time. It's dangerous. Not to mention complicated. Do you know the hardest part of time travel? It's traveling in space too."

"What?" Ron asked.

"Look time turners look simple, but do you know how fast the Earth moves? Hundreds of thousands of miles per hour. If you disappear in time and reappear in the same spot in the past or the future you're going to pop out into space and either die from lack of air or from being deep fried by sunlight. So spells that let you just reappear in the same spot on Earth just traveling an hour or two or even days are so complicated that time turners are designed for simple use. My time turner can let me travel anywhere or when, plus it has special spells involved to keep me from altering the timeline too much. I've only been back too far in time once just after the dinosaurs went extinct to gather some DNA for some experiments."

"That's incredible. How does it work?"

"I will not tell you that," I said. "And you literally cannot make me." I double checked the sheet. "Looks like I'm not in here. Which isn't too surprising since I have a photographic memory and he's the future me, but it doesn't hurt to check."

"How many of you are running around?" Harry asked.

"I've finished each year at Hogwarts twice," I said.

"You invented that thing in your first year?"

"The end of my second," I said. "Then I went back to the first and did them both. Normally I just wait until the end of the year so I can be sure what I need to learn next and just redo it."

"So you're really what… twenty-three?" Ron asked.

"Twenty-two," I said. "The other me is around twenty-three since he's a year ahead."

I opened the door and revealed my cloaks. Hermione peered at them. "Professor McGonagall told us it was a very advanced illusion you used to pretend to still be human."

"It is. I had to make it match my movements, but at the same time when I sat down or walked up stairs, it had to look like it was doing that and not floating around. It worked for about a decade. Not bad really. Plus I've still got them for when I'm out and about in muggle areas. I'll have to do it again when I relive the first half of this year, but I know how it ends now so I'm good." I looked at Ron. "Do you think your brother might be interested?"

"George? I am terrified to think what he would do with illusions like that."

"Excellent. I'll have to contact him after I graduate." I pushed the robes aside and revealed a small tent in the back of my closet. I dropped to all fours and carefully crawled inside. "Wait here a moment while I settle security." It took me a moment. "Okay, come in."

The three of them followed me, having to crouch to get through the flap. When they did they all stopped and stared. I was by a large reinforced perch petting something they could not see. However apparently from thin air acidic drool was dropping into a bowl under it and there was a low menacing growl.

"What is that?" Ron asked.

"I'm not sure. I made it myself and I've never given it a name, so that death can't find it either. I use it as part of my security system. The gods know we don't want just anyone wandering around here."

"Not even teachers?" Hermione asked.

I looked at her. "Didn't you three have at least one teacher every year who was _actively_ trying to kill you? And several others who almost did it by accident? Not to mention officials who overrode their authority?"

"Man's got a point," Harry said.

Hermione elbowed him in the ribs. "That's hardly the norm."

"Yeah, but you saw my bed," I said. "And my time tuner. Either of those is worth killing for. Let me show you around the lab. Please touch nothing without asking me."

The inside of the tent was actually a three story tower. The main room where we were was my lab, reserved for past me and was about the size of an average school gym. There were shelves and active experiments everywhere which made it look like a laboratory in a Frankenstein movie. I actually had better equipment than Hogwarts could afford. Most notably was a table in the middle of the room on which grew a small forest complete with a flowing river and a tiny volcano. I walked up to it and said, "Status."

Figures stepped out of the trees, dozens of them. Another rose from the river and still two more rose from rocks and the volcano. Then three more formed out of the air and seemed to be made of swirling clouds. All looked like beautiful women in lab coats. They began to update me on the current experiments I was running and their results. When they finished I nodded and they vanished as mysteriously as they arrived.

"Are those… elementals?"

"My banzai garden. Twelve dryads, an earth elemental, a fire elemental, a naiad, and some sylphs," I said. "I gathered them in my third year from a place that some muggle contractors were going to bulldoze for a housing development. I shrank them down and they agreed to be my assistants in exchange for saving their lives and keeping them from ever having to worry about it again."

"So you just keep them like pets?"

"No, I also provide them with food, books, Internet, radio and television. True the machines don't work around magic, but there are ways to magically access the signals. I've already filed patents. Aside from that… they were never able to go too far from their homes in the first place. That's why they had trouble."

They looked around the room, not understanding a third of what was going on around them. Harry was good at pretending that he was unconcerned with this and asked, "What's upstairs?"

"The second floor is my future self's lab. I stay out of there until it becomes mine. I have plenty to do down here and when I'm done with this one it becomes his and he's ready for anything I haven't finished. The third floor is reserved for when the other me sends me mail."

Hermione said, "The other you?"

"Yes. After I graduate from my fourteen years here at Hogwarts I'm going back seven years and I'm going to start walk about. Learn new things. See the sights."

"Couldn't you have done that without time travel?" Ron asked.

"No," I said and saw Hermione's lips press together as she figured out what I'd done. "The last time I got a letter I was learning to secrets of goblin magic and silver working from a master craftsman."

"No way, a goblin would never share those secrets with a human," Ron said.

I smirked. "I'm not human. Besides I had something to trade. The secrets of wand making."

"You're teaching goblins how to make wizard wands," Ron gulped.

Hermione forced a smile down. "That is highly frowned upon."

"I know," I said. "But not technically illegal. Mostly because people still hope to learn goblin silver craft and how they keep the vaults so safe. Fortunately in the event of a goblin uprising against human magicians, I am not human. Also we swore an oath that neither of us would tech the craft or show the results of out work to anyone else until we can do it to perfection judged by one another. So it's going to be a good fifty years before he's good enough to make a perfect wand and probably a century before he judges anything I forge as good enough."

Harry frowned. "You can't always be one hundred percent sure of a goblin's word… especially if they think you'll break yours."

"Then it's a good thing I don't care."

Ron frowned. "When we're all attacked by wand wielding goblins, I'm blaming you."

"And I'm blaming how they're treated between now and then. You humans could be in serious trouble. Many wizards are so dismissive of other species. You should probably get to work on fixing that."

Hermione smiled now. "I've been trying to get funding for that… now I have an excuse." Something seemed to occur to her. "Speaking of which, how do you afford all of this? The gold in your room… the vaults you claim to have… everything I see in here must cost a fortune."

"Oh several fortunes," I said. "Actually I have you three to thank for part of my starter funds. You see in my first year all anyone could talk about was Harry Potter and his friends. They've got biographies on you three in the library." I waved them over to a table where I had an ivory dagger hanging off a rack made of different blades carved from bone sticking out of each end. One yellowish and the other silvery white with a yin-yang symbol in the middle of the handle. "One end of this is carved from unicorn horn…" I caught their look. "I didn't kill them. But there were some dead ones lying around the forest. The other end is carved from a basilisk fang."

"The basilisk I killed and the unicorns Voldemort fed off of in the woods."

"Correct. Unicorns which were mostly eaten by other things left behind leaving only their bones, skulls, and a few tufts of hair. And a fifty foot long monster left to rot in the catacombs below the school. Minus a few missing fangs."

"You speak parseltongue?" Ron asked.

"Not a word," I said. "But I did have a broom and I heard that a phoenix flew you out of a crack somewhere in the woods. After that once I got into the pipes there are all kinds of ways all over this castle, which the basilisk used for centuries before Voldemort riled it up." I smirked. "Do you know what basilisk fangs sell for? Let alone the other body parts. Best of all they aren't even illegal, for how dangerous they are. The things are too rare. And the parts are useful. This dagger for example, one end will cure most anything including basilisk venom since I soaked the horn in phoenix tears too and the other can kill nearly anything." I nodded to a clear crystal-like pendant surrounded by a gold frame. "Do you know what that is?" Even Hermione shook her head. "It's a transmogrification medallion. The basilisk's eyes were scratched and dried out, but the corneas were in tact and using them one can make a medallion that can transform anything into anything else. Animal, vegetable, or mineral."

"What would you need that for?" Harry asked suspiciously. "Turn lead into gold?"

"What, and devalue the currency? No thanks. Environmental lean up. I've got plans once my third self finishes his walk about at the end of my seventh year. I can transform nuclear waste into harmless or even helpful substances. There's a continent sized garbage dump in the Pacific Ocean. Plus I was thinking of repopulating the endangered and even extinct species."

"How? You can turn a Styrofoam cup into an elephant."

"Well I can turn a rat into a tea cup, so who knows? But I mostly plan to use people. Mostly muggles."

"That is illegal," Ron said firmly. "You can't permanently turn a person into an animal."

"Actually there are two exceptions to that. One is if they are a wizard convicted of a capital crime. It's illegal in this country but in some they prefer that to trying to keep wizards locked up in prisons. The other is if the person involved agrees to it. Not only does it not violate the secrecy of magic from muggle laws since animals can't talk, but it's a great way to get rid of poachers that certain high ranking government officials in many countries are willing to overlook."

"What do you mean?" Harry asked.

"You'd be amazed what poachers are willing to sign if you promise them you can sneak them onto a game preserve and lead them to a herd of elephants. Especially when they're planning to betray you anyway. It's hardly my fault that they signed a contract that allows me to turn them into that herd. After all, I keep my end of the bargain. Plus in a lot of places, they'd be executed for poaching. And environmentalists will be lining up for the honor." I saw Ron reach for it. "Don't touch that. It'll explode and kill you all."

"Just us?" he asked, not sure if he believed me.

"I'm fire proof." He withdrew his hand. "Oh and definitely don't touch that…" I nodded to a large staff in a glass case. It was six feet long and floated in the air, literally crackling with black lightning. "I heard about the Elder Wand. I figured that my choices were to hunt Mr. Potter here down like a dog, break into Dumbledore's grave, and seize the old one, or just make myself a more powerful and easier to control version which will take out a thirty mile area in a huge explosion upon my death." I looked at Harry and smiled at the shock on his face. "I've also got some invisibility spells that blow your cloak away."

"Why would you make it do that?" Hermione screeched.

"Well thanks to my current form I've got a ten thousand year lifespan, at least. Maybe eternal. Plus…" I nodded across the room where something shiny was dripping into a beaker.

Harry stared blankly. "Is that a sorcerer's stone."

"One of two," I said. "I stockpile the elixir in some vaults. It never goes bad you know. Plus I can sell the surplus. Doesn't work for immortality but for healing it's better than unicorn horn."

Ron and Hermione were staring too now. They had never actually seen one before. Ron asked, "Where's the other one?"

"I magically grafted it to my kidney.'' Thy turned to look at me. "I don't even have to poop any more. I literally shit spherical diamonds and pee elixir of immortality. I collect it in my chamber pot and add it to my stockpile. Plus the elixir helped my body accept my new shape and merge seamlessly without rejecting the new organs."

They were speechless. Finally Ron said, "What next? Are you going to tell us you're an unregistered animagus?"

"No, I'm registered," I said. They were looking at me again. "It's amazing what forms my mother is willing to sign without even knowing the meaning of words since I let her retire to a private island at thirty-five. She spends her days kayaking."

"What can you turn into?" Harry asked.

"Dragons."

Hermione caught it. "Plural?"

"Three kinds. A Death Shadow…" This was a nocturnal black dragon the size of a falcon that could fly faster than a peregrine and could suck the blood from a human in minutes. They could squeeze into tight spaces and mostly lived out in the Mojave Desert around Death Valley. Their victims tended to look like they died of dehydration in the desert. "A Tunneling Black Fang…" This was a large brown wingless dragon that could dig through rock and dirt like fish swam through water and birds flew through air. Roughly twice the size of a basilisk they hunted by either listening for footstep on the surface and rising up to devour them like sharks or they half buried with their heads out and their mouths open, their huge black fangs like stalactites just waiting for something to climb inside the safe looking cave. "And a snapping terrapin." There are bigger sea monsters, but picture a dragon with a turtle-like shell. Now make it roughly six hundred feet across as babies to up to three miles as adults with a mouth full of fangs that works like a snapping turtle. Mostly they live and feed in the deep oceans on giant squid, kraken, whales, and seaweed as well plankton. Roughly half the size of a full grown leviathan they are quicker, smarter and longer lived even than a celestial dragon and immune to the leviathan's attack thanks to their thick shell. Nobody knows much about them because their bones tend to sink into the deep ocean when they die and he only living samples have always been hibernating, which they do often once they reach a certain size, appearing to be floating islands or buried as part of some bigger landmass until they wake up, sometimes after centuries. Some claim there are living examples left over from the Devonian age and that the city of Atlantis may have been built on the shell of one. Others claim that they can walk on land and some dead ones are buried under mountains.

Add in the elixir and there was no upper limit to how big I could become. A billion years in? I could be like Terry Pratchett's idea of a turtle with a whole world on my back living among the stars.

Ron stared at me, shaking his head. "You don't do things by half, do you mate?"

"You have no idea. I also make money selling the venom of the giant spiders that live in the woods. The centaurs pay me to cull the nest and they taste like lobster if you cook them right. Keeps me full instead of pigging out on the food at dinner. I save the heads and sell the venom for a fortune."

"Why are you so willing to throw your humanity away?"' Harry asked. "Are you so afraid of dying?"

"I get why you'd ask that. Your pal Voldemort did horrible things because he was afraid to die. There are ghosts in this castle who have stuck around for centuries. Personally I could die tomorrow with no regrets, except that I'm curious about the future. I'd like to see how it ends before I sail off into eternity. If that doesn't happen I'm good with it, but I'm still going to try. Don't mistake curiosity for fear Mr. Potter."

"Well so far you're scaring me," Hermione said. "You've shown us things that make you more of a threat than Voldemort ever dreamed of. Most of this would be classified as Dark magic, except it's either too new or too rare to have any laws against it."

"I'm aware," I said. "And I plan to rule the world one day, but not until I've cleaned it up a bit. I'm giving it a century or two before I go that route."

"How gracious," Ron sneered. "And impressive as this is, do you plan to do this all by yourself?"

"No. I've got… help." I smirked at them. "You don't think I'm the only secret monster running around this school do you?" They were staring again. I reached up to a shelf and passed Hermione a binder. "A few have graduated since I started, but a lot are still here."

They began flipping through the pages. On each page was a name, a before and after picture waving cheerfully up at them, and a list of their skills and current position in life. "It's linked to some ID cards so I can send them instructions on the back and grant them access to some of my things. Not this lab, but I have other irons in the fire. My future self spends a lot of time off campus handling business between classes, since I'm always where I'm supposed to be."

"I know this woman…" Hermione breathed. "She works in my office." I peered over the top of her head. She was looking at Francine Tallweather, who I had transformed into a lamia. A beautiful woman from the knees up, a twenty-fool serpent from the knees down. Capable of dislocating her jaw to swallow a man's head with claws and spitable acidic neurotoxin.

"Personally I make it a rule never to turn myself into a snake," I said. "It's on the evil overlord list."

They flipped through pictures of harpies, sphinxes, a succubus, dragon-girls who unlike me were a lot more human than dragon, sirens, mermaids, Vila, and even a few ordinary humans. One or two who were just ordinary and a few with spaces for their "after" pictures waiting to be filled. Harry said, "Is that Lana Longbottom?"

"I thought it was Lois," Ron said.

"Which is why Lana is waiting for her present from me on her sixteenth birthday. She's getting a dose of two headed giant," I said. "Twenty feet tall, strong, and still pretty. She asked for the second head because she thinks she might miss her sisters if they don't like the new her."

"Why would she want you to do this to her?" Harry asked.

Hermione said, "She's probably sick of looking like one of a set."

"Why are so many of them beautiful females?" Ron asked. We all looked at him. "Okay dumb question."

"You'd be amazed what a woman is willing to do to erase perceived flaws. Or for the guy who did it." I saw Hermione reach up and cover her mouth. I knew her teeth had looked bigger when she was younger. "Going from toad to gold is worth a lot to a lot of girls. Also I help them get good grades and they get big important jobs which means I am owed favors by big important people. Nothing illegal, just politics." I looked at Harry. "I hear your friends and family the Weasley clan are doing well and your guys from Dumbledore's army have done remarkably well. Not that The Boy Who lived needs to ask for favors, but I haven't saved the world yet, so I make pacts where I can."

"Some of these kids are underage," Harry said, reaching for his wand.

"I got parental consent," I said casually. They started to say something and I added, "I found a cure for the curse of the werewolf."

Hermione stared at him. "Impossible."

I shrugged. "It was just an idea I wanted to try out. Because I know what you're thinking Missus Weasley…"

"Please stop calling her that," Ron said. Hermione looked at him. "It makes me think of my mum." She rolled her eyes.

"Fine, Hermione. You're thinking that there is no way to cure a human of the curse. And you are right. Can you pick up on the key word there?"

Harry got it. "Human."

"Right. Only humans can be cursed by the bite of a werewolf. It's in the name: man-wolf. They bite a mermaid or a giant or a centaur and nothing happens. You know aside from being mauled by a huge wolf monster. In my case their fangs slide off like rain on aluminum siding." I held up a claw. "So if you make it so that the victim of a werewolf bite is no longer human it does nothing. No transformation even if they lie out and bathe in the full moon."

"But they have to stop being human," Ron said.

I nodded. "As opposed to turning into a wolf and attacking anyone nearby or spending your nights in a cage or doped up on a hard to make and extremely rare potion." I smiled. "I'm considering making this whole thing a business too. As it stands there are a lot of very grateful people and families, who owe me for curing their loved ones. Actually I'm still negotiating on some of them, but I've already done about half the werewolves currently attending the school. They still go to their cages and pretend, because they don't want people to hate them for being non-human thirty days out of the month rather than a monster few nights… you aren't going to out them, are you?"

They did not appreciate my smug look. This was a moral quandary. Did you tell people that there were monsters, possibly dangerous in their midst, and in the process possibly ruin a lot of young lives of people who had done nothing wrong… or keep quiet and let them do who knew what in secret?

"Where did you even learn to do this? I don't think even the forbidden section of the library would teach you how to do half of what I'm seeing here."

"I would never! You know many of those books are of dark magic, plus some that are just plain dangerous. Using that magic without Ministry permission would be wrong and could have glaring omissions that could get me or somebody else killed," I said, looking offended.

"So how did you do it?" Ron asked, clearly able to see I was just itching to tell them.

I laughed. "I pay for private tutors. Over there." I nodded to a large wooden chest with the word "Tutors" written on the front in gold. "Take a look inside."

Hermione led the way and popped the lid Inside it was like the slides in a projector. She reached in and slid one of the wooden frames out and saw Dumbledore waving back at her. "They're paintings."

"It's nice to see you again children."

"You too sir," Ron said. Harry nodded and Hermione said goodbye before slipping it back into the box. She went through several others, recognizing names on brass plates affixed to the frames or the faces.

It took a while after she shoved Voldemort's portrait back into the chest and then found a group picture of the founders of Hogwarts followed by a vulture-like visage of a bald evil looking wizard with glowing green eyes. He was Percival Pettigrew, the wizard who made house elves into servants of wizards for stealing human babies (don't ask what they did with them). She stared at the hideous face that grinned back and clawed at her before she replaced it and slumped. Then she looked at me. "You clever bastard."

"I started with a list of the forbidden books and worked through the history books."

Ron frowned, "I thought you said you didn't read those."

"I didn't. That would be dangerous and stupid, even with my magically enhanced intellect. Plus it would needlessly aggravate the authority figures."

It dawned on Harry. "And why read the books, when you can get the authors."

Ron saw it too then, eyes widening. "Oh my…"

I nodded. "It's amazing really. Dark wizards and rich jerks love having paintings done of themselves. Hung over the mantle. Given as gifts. And the good wizards… well people love having pictures of them around. I think at last check one out of every eight wizards in England has a portrait of Albus Dumbledore in their home and that's not even counting things like the chocolate frog cards. Now the older and more powerful wizards… the ones who had secrets… they usually did not have many especially once they got famous. Or had so many enemies. What there was gets sealed away… until after their death. Then it's all estate sales, antique stores, and private collections. Mostly by rich bored people who just like the old wizards looking haughty and hanging around. Maybe a bit of advice. Heck most of the kids barely talk to the portraits hanging around this school barely talk to the ones they know by name. Too busy in class. And they grow up to become teachers and everyone forgets why they came up with talking paintings in the first place…" I nodded to the box. "Speaking of Daphne St. James, the woman who invented that spell is in there and is an excellent art teacher. She says I've really come along."

Ron put a hand to his head. "So you're saying that not only have you spent the last six… no, almost twelve years doing amazingly well in your classes with an IQ above anything a normal human could hope to have, making it all easy and so that you actually learn it the first time…" he stared at me with aw. "You've also been learning directly from the most powerful wizards in history…"

"A few obscure ones too," I put in. "That fat lady they use as the door to the Gryffindor dorms? She knew cooking spells that would make the best chefs weep in jealousy. If you like before you leave I'll give you each a slice of cake I made this morning that will give you a mouth orgasm."

"Okay so all these great and terrible wizards who you've somehow managed to get to share all their secrets…"

"After I took turpentine to Voldemort's crotch the others all fell in line." Harry burst out laughing and gave me a high five.

"You've also made yourself physically imposing on a superhero level, given yourself mystical powers eclipsing any of the wizards you care to name, made yourself effectively immortal, arranged matters so that if you die it will do incalculable damage to large areas of the planet, and created magical devices that make Excalibur look like a toothpick."

"No to mention to army of high ranking politicians, wizards, and his harem of monster girls… and apparently contacts among other magical communities, both wizards and non-humans across the planet over the same seven years via your future self. Plus whatever else, he, who is probably one of the most powerful if not the most powerful of all wizards ever, has found to do in his free time… which even you have no idea about."

"You sound like the most dangerous threat of all time," Ron said. "We should definitely report all of this to our superiors."

"Except he's made it so that we can't," Hermione said. "And I don't mean in just a 'it's a bad idea' way. I mean that it's physically impossible."

"How so?" Harry asked.

"Yes, please explain," I said.

"There are several problems," Hermione said. "Let's start with the conventional. If we tell anyone about this, provided his unnamed friends in high places do not just shut us down, there will be a thorough investigation. Experiments. Tests. In depth research into what he has done and how. Not just by our government but people across the world."

Ron groaned, surprising us all by figuring it out. "This means, even if it's made illegal, they'll be able to recreate everything he has done. And people will, because people are stupid. If we can even get the permission to do this to someone who is from another country. American wizards are testy about that."

"Especially since a lot of their ancestors were originally criminals fleeing prosecution here by going there along with the pilgrims," I said cheerfully. "As for my inventions it would be sort of like how America invented nukes and other people stole the technology and now every major country has WMDs. As things stand it's contained, in me. And I clearly have not even given the people I've transformed power even close to mine, so it's clear I plan to keep the really dangerous stuff to myself. For now anyway. As opposed to hundreds of people across the world recreating all of this stuff… did I mention I've got seven basilisks gestating? All you need is a rooster's egg put under a toad for seven years. I'm trying different species of toads and chickens to see what the results are. I'll send Mr. Potter one after they hatch."

"Second," Hermione went on, ignoring that, "He's made himself essentially immortal and none of us, even him, has any idea what could kill him even if he were willing to just sit still and let us try."

"I'm not," I said. "Just so we're clear."

Harry said, "Hermione I'm not sure I want to try fighting this version of him, let alone the future one."

"This brings us to the fact that, provided he's telling the truth we will not be stopping him because there are two future versions of him who have been running around for months and years. Meaning we can't stop him because we didn't. Even if we had time turners, which we do not. Or a way to contain him as he is, which I doubt. Or something to threaten him with…"

"My mother and half-sister are at the address provided in my files. They're muggles and can't run."

"And you'd let them be turned to stone or something without an eye blink?" She asked.

"I wouldn't like it and would rain wrath down upon you that would make the guys who wrote the Bible flee in terror, but no I'm not sacrificing myself for two people I'm probably going to outlive anyway. Not only could I probably stop you from doing anything in the first place, but you're all scared of me. Rightly so. Poking me with a stick is a good way to make me the enemy you fear I'll become."

Ron nodded. "So to sum up, he's smarter than us, stronger, faster, ahead of us by decades, has a secret army under his command that we do not know and probably could not fight anyway since they have yet to do anything, political power, and is the most powerful wizard who has ever lived. We not only can't stop him, but if we try anytime in the next year we'll have already failed and his future self will already know and be able to counter anything we try anyway. He's got nearly limitless funds. An arsenal of powerful magical tools including a time machine… can you go into the future?"

"Yes, and I can change it without forgetting what happened in the alternate timeline. I've also hired an oracle to my side already and plan to acquire more… and may already have."

"Right, master of time and space. He's immortal and has a series of redundancy plans including spare elixir of immortality, another sorcerer's stone, which he can recreate as needed… and probably other things we know nothing about. Connections among the muggles too. Not to mention legal tricks to keep us tied up for years."

Hermione and Harry nodded slowly and she said, "Yeah, that's about the size of it. Plus we can't ask for help for the same reason they destroyed the other sorcerer's stone, that anyone we ask would probably sell us out for any one thing in this room, let alone all of it."

"I'm half tempted," Harry said.

Ron said, "I was tempted when I just saw the gold he sleeps on." He looked at me. "Any other big plans?"

"Well I don't know what future me is up to, but I'm planning on using the sun mirror from Japan to give clean energy to the muggles. It focuses solar energy into a powerful beam. I can make them of perfectly mundane material, but keep the way I make them with magic a secret since I'll just use that to make them, not power them. I'll add a self destruct to make it so nobody can try to figure them out or make them into a weapon. I should be able to produce more energy safely than a dozen nuclear reactors. After that I've got some ideas for colonizing space and building underwater cities to help relieve overpopulation."

There was a pause and then Ron held out his hand. "You've got my vote. Enjoy ruling the world." He barely flinched when I shook it.

"If you need help let me know," Hermione said.

Harry nodded. "We can't stop you and so far you seem to be doing a lot of good. You're scary, but… I get that. When people found out I could speak parseltongue people thought I was going to be the next bloody dark lord."

"Happened a couple of times mate," Ron pointed out.

I shrugged. "To be fair, a lot of wizards aren't that smart. I mean Dumbledore apparently thought finding a kid who was torturing other children with his powers and having him brought here to learn more magic without so much as a psych evaluation was a good idea. Voldemort meanwhile was raised among muggles, but could not kill a kid. I mean sure you were immune from magical attacks… just from him as I understood it. I personally would have just hired a private investigator to find you like those dementors did that one time and then have you picked off by a sniper from three blocks away. Afterwards I'd have fed those idiots who believed he was pureblood some story about a magical duel to keep their respect and called it a day." They stared at me. "Sorry, but if I hear there's one person out there who can stop my plans, they're going down. Poison, gas, curse, mail bomb… I'll figure something out in the first week. If there's a prophecy I'll hire lawyers and find a loophole. As fast and effectively as possible."

"Okay, well on that chilling note," Hermione said. "We found nothing of interest to report. The school will be advised to ignore anything you do and teach you. Clayton, please try to keep it as toned down as possible, at least until we're retired and you aren't our business any more."

"I promise nothing."

"Whatever," she said. "Come on boys. Let's go fake a report."

"I was promised cake," Ron said.

A pink box appeared in my hands. I handed it off to Harry. "Enjoy it in good health."

Author's Note

Please, feel free to let me know if you see any flaws in these plans.


End file.
